The Gig Economy Crisis
Belfast, Northern Ireland
While everyone is busy lamenting the passing of political figures and the state of public health, there’s another crisis unfolding right under our noses: the music industry is experiencing a gig drought so severe that many bands are considering a career change to professional cat grooming. Yes, you heard that right. Cat grooming.
According to recent studies, bands today play half as many gigs on average during a tour compared to the 1990s. Back then, the idea of a band playing just 10 shows in a month would have been laughable. Now, with the rise of streaming services and the decline of live venues, it’s becoming a sad reality. Musicians across the UK are feeling the pinch, with some claiming they could earn more money selling their old guitar strings on eBay than playing live.
A World Without Live Music
Imagine a world where your favorite bands are relegated to playing at your cousin’s wedding or the local pub’s open mic night. This dystopian future is becoming all too real for many artists. With the rise of social media influencers and TikTok stars, traditional musicians are struggling to capture the audience’s attention.
“I played 150 shows in 1995,” says indie rock veteran Tom McCarthy, “and now I’m lucky if I get 30. I’ve even started considering a YouTube channel about my cat’s daily life. Spoiler alert: it’s not thrilling content, but at least he gets views!”
The Shrinking Venue Scene
The decline in live music venues has also played a significant role in this crisis. Many iconic spots have closed down, unable to keep up with rising rents and the competition from pop-up brunch spots that serve avocado toast and overpriced lattes. You could grab a coffee while listening to a band, but now you might only get to enjoy a dude with a guitar singing about heartbreak… in a coffee shop that’s also a yoga studio.
The Rise of Community Fridges
In a surprising twist, as musicians struggle, community initiatives are beginning to thrive. A new initiative in County Tyrone has opened its very first community fridge, which has already saved 10 tonnes of food from going to waste. Perhaps musicians could take a cue from this and start community jam sessions to feed both their souls and their bank accounts. Who knows? Maybe a band could play for food and tips, making it a win-win for everyone involved!
The Reality of Streaming
Meanwhile, the streaming services that were supposed to save the music industry are leaving artists high and dry. With every play earning artists mere fractions of a penny, many are questioning their career choices. “I can’t even afford a decent cup of coffee with my Spotify earnings!” exclaims up-and-coming singer-songwriter Lucy James. “Do you think I’d make more money if I just put my songs in a TikTok dance challenge?”
A Call for Change
The music industry is in dire need of reform. With fewer gigs and a declining number of venues, musicians are calling for better pay, more opportunities, and a revival of live events. Some suggest organizing a massive music festival where artists can perform without the fear of going bankrupt.
“Let’s create a world where musicians can thrive again!” says festival organizer Jake Rivers. “We’ll have community fridges at the entrance so musicians can eat, play, and feed their fans!”
Conclusion: A New Hope
As the curtain falls on the traditional gig economy, musicians are left with two choices: adapt or become professional cat groomers. The future of live music may be uncertain, but one thing is clear: if we want to keep the heartbeat of music alive, we need to rally together as a community. After all, who wouldn’t want to attend a concert where feeding the community is as important as the music?
In the meantime, let’s support our local artists, share their music, and pray that the next time we see them, it won’t be at the pet grooming salon.
And who knows? Maybe in 2025, we will all be dancing to tunes played at a community fridge festival while our cats supervise from the sidelines.